A very good Joke for Hater to read

[Ty Kissner]

The new priest was so nervous at his first mass, he could hardly speak. Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor how he could relax. The Monsignor said, "Next Sunday, it may help if you put some vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything should go smoothly."

The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion into practice and was able to talk up a storm. He felt great! However, upon returning to the rectory he found a note from the Monsignor.

Dear Father,

1. Next time sip rather than gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. We do not refer to the Cross as the "Big T".
5. The recommended grace before meals is not "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Yeah God!"
6. We do not refer our Savior, Jesus Christ and his Apostles as "J.C. and the Boys"
7. David slew Goliath, he did not "Kick the crap out of him".
8. Moses parted the water at the Red Sea, he didn't pass water.
9. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as "Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook."
10. We don't refer to Judas as "El Finko".
11. The Pope is consecrated not constipated or castrated, and we don't refer to him as "The Godfather"
12. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body, he did not say, "Eat me."
13. David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, he wasn't "stoned off his ass"
14. Next Wednesday there will be a Taffy pulling contest at St. Peters, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's
15. Last, but not least, it is the "Virgin Mary," not "Mary with the Cherry."

[Pete & Tim]

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ty Kissner]

I thought you would............

[Ty Kissner]

so heres one more:

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the egineer reports to the gates of hell and is admitted. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and, as is the wont for engineers, starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks, "So how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what an engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"