Post by Ty Kissner on Feb 24, 2006 10:14:29 GMT -5
Rules Of Engagement for Dating a Hockey
1. We want a hot piece of a$$ that no one else has touched as our "on paper" girlfriend. This girl most likely will not have been Banged by any other team members, thus she is Prime Meat(see Bible). We keep dirties on the side to bang.
2. We will cheat on you, accept it. You may not find
out, but at one point or another, we will drop our hammer in some disgusting piece of a$$.
3. You should treat us like gold, buy us sh%t, invite us
over for dinner, basically take care of us. But don't be fooled, this is not a two way street. We will treat you like sh%t, and you will accept it cause you are living in our shadow of glory.
4. All hockey boys are the same. We are dirty men, we
bang anything when we're drunk, and half the time with a couple of the boys watching in a handy closet. Don't be fooled into thinking we are that one "special" guy that is not like the rest. We are all dirty.
5. If we make it big, you are not riding the high road
with us. Don't dream, we are simply using you as a nice piece of a$$ who does nice sh%t for us while we are away from home. That's it, after we make the Show, we will never talk to you again.
6. When we cheat on you, and you find out, you will make a big deal, but eventually take us back. This is because your life sucks and you love telling your friends you know us personally. Smoke our poles you filthy war-pigs and know your shi%ty roles.
7. We do not truly like you. We are using you for a$$
and your car. We may like you a bit, but never enough to do anything nice for you. Accept that.
8. If we get traded, we will not call or visit. If you wish to fly to see us or bus, we will bang you. But that is the onlyway. Learn this you filthy puck bags.
9. We live the lives of 10 men by the age of 18. If we
tell you we've slept with 5 girls, multiply that by 5 for the
true kill count. You are simply another notch on our filthy belts.
10. Our lives are gongers, don't try and change us. We
are dirty proud men who stick by our boys first, we don't rat. We will do nasty sh%t just to tell the story in the room. That is our lives. We are kings to men, and God's to you.
1. We want a hot piece of a$$ that no one else has touched as our "on paper" girlfriend. This girl most likely will not have been Banged by any other team members, thus she is Prime Meat(see Bible). We keep dirties on the side to bang.
2. We will cheat on you, accept it. You may not find
out, but at one point or another, we will drop our hammer in some disgusting piece of a$$.
3. You should treat us like gold, buy us sh%t, invite us
over for dinner, basically take care of us. But don't be fooled, this is not a two way street. We will treat you like sh%t, and you will accept it cause you are living in our shadow of glory.
4. All hockey boys are the same. We are dirty men, we
bang anything when we're drunk, and half the time with a couple of the boys watching in a handy closet. Don't be fooled into thinking we are that one "special" guy that is not like the rest. We are all dirty.
5. If we make it big, you are not riding the high road
with us. Don't dream, we are simply using you as a nice piece of a$$ who does nice sh%t for us while we are away from home. That's it, after we make the Show, we will never talk to you again.
6. When we cheat on you, and you find out, you will make a big deal, but eventually take us back. This is because your life sucks and you love telling your friends you know us personally. Smoke our poles you filthy war-pigs and know your shi%ty roles.
7. We do not truly like you. We are using you for a$$
and your car. We may like you a bit, but never enough to do anything nice for you. Accept that.
8. If we get traded, we will not call or visit. If you wish to fly to see us or bus, we will bang you. But that is the onlyway. Learn this you filthy puck bags.
9. We live the lives of 10 men by the age of 18. If we
tell you we've slept with 5 girls, multiply that by 5 for the
true kill count. You are simply another notch on our filthy belts.
10. Our lives are gongers, don't try and change us. We
are dirty proud men who stick by our boys first, we don't rat. We will do nasty sh%t just to tell the story in the room. That is our lives. We are kings to men, and God's to you.
