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Post by Ty Kissner on Mar 21, 2006 15:38:56 GMT -5
An american Tourist leaves a London pub and suddenly has an urge to urinate. He finds a near by alley and goes in to do his business. Just as he unzips his fly an British billybo(Cop) comes up and says sorry sir you can t pee here. The tourist says but sir I really have to go and there are no public restrooms. The Billybob thinks to himself and says follow me. He leads the tourist down another alley through some shrubs and brings him to a lush garden with a rock waterfall and imaculately landscaped yard and says pee here. The american finishes peeing turns to the cop and says "wow you Britsh have amazing bathrooms, Now thats Hospitality" The Billybob turns and says "No thats the French Embassy".
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Post by Chris Ratchford on Mar 21, 2006 15:51:12 GMT -5
lol.. good one
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Post by Ryan Thames on Mar 21, 2006 16:52:49 GMT -5
ahem......i dont get it
Just kidding!
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Post by Ty Kissner on Mar 21, 2006 17:13:04 GMT -5
i was gonna say ryan
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Post by gambit on Mar 21, 2006 18:24:22 GMT -5
Ty, it takes Ryan a little longer than others, but he eventually gets it. Except the thing I have brought to his attention recently.
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Post by Carey Nick on Mar 22, 2006 12:32:19 GMT -5
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Post by TK on Mar 22, 2006 12:43:27 GMT -5
veddy gwood.. ;D
TK
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Post by Carey Nick on Mar 27, 2006 10:03:19 GMT -5
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.
The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
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Post by Carey Nick on Mar 27, 2006 10:04:48 GMT -5
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
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Post by Carey Nick on Mar 27, 2006 10:06:06 GMT -5
man walks into a bar, and as he makes his way to the counter, he stops and talks to everyone in the bar. As he finishes with each group of people, they all get up and leave and go stand outside the window, looking in. Finally, the bar is empty except for this guy and the bartender. The man walks up to the counter, and says to the bartender, "I bet you $1,000 that I can spray beer from my mouth into a shot glass from thirty feet away, and not get any outside the glass."
The bartender thinks that this guy is a nutcase, but he wants his $1,000, so he agrees. The bartender gets out a shot glass, paces off thirty feet, and the contest begins. The man sprays beer all over the bar. He doesn't even touch the shot glass. When he finishes, the bartender looks at him and says, "Well, I guess you owe me $1,000, huh?"
The man answers, "Yeah, but I bet all of those people outside the window $500 a piece that I could come in here and spray beer all over the bar."
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Post by Carey Nick on Mar 27, 2006 10:08:36 GMT -5
One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.
"What's the matter?" the bartender asks.
"My wife and I got into a fight," explained the guy "and now she isn't talking to me for a whole 31 days."
The bartender thought about this for a while. "But, isn't it a good thing that she isn't talking to you?" asked the bartender.
"Yeah, except today is the last night."
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Post by TK on Mar 27, 2006 12:26:04 GMT -5
Carey,
I love the one about the 100 men experiment..i literally spit out my drink....lmao... ;D
TK
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Post by Ty Kissner on Mar 28, 2006 10:57:24 GMT -5
NICK THOSE ARE TOO FUNNY lmao. my next question is this however what are the The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman
#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.
#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.
#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.
#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN . . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
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Post by Ty Kissner on Mar 28, 2006 10:58:12 GMT -5
sorry ladies i love you, but i love my vintage six shooter a lil more
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