An ode to Allen Hester

[James]

Allen, I know you are stressed out.

So I did what I always do for friends in times of need.

I wrote you a country song.

Okay, so, I never really do that.

In fact, I don't even like country music.

I just knew you were a white Republican from Louisiana and thought you might be privy to it.

Now I know you won't take any of this personal, like the comments I made about your mom. I always make comments about peoples mothers. But I am never really speaking specifically of their moms.

It is just an expression. Well, except for when I was talking about WHat? and Anon 2's mother. I really was with her. In fact she is underneath my computer desk now. ;D

Anyhow, here goes:

Do not stress yourself out Mr. Hester
Just because Craig treats you as a jester
Instead of letting your heartfelt feelings fester
Call Karen Bean the mean armwrestling molester

Allen Hester, Allen Hester, Allen Hester (repeat)

Its not you she's really mad at Mr. Hester
Defended by no one with any chest hair
Losing control of her sport is what depressed her
Ill feelings toward Leonard and Denise caressed her

Allen Hester, Allen Hester, Allen Hester


Anonymous so no one can protest her,
Maybe the armwrestling cops should arrest her,
Or armwrestling locusts could come infest her,
Submitting is what really would've impressed her,

Allen Hester, Allen Hester, Allen Hester.

[simon]

I am all choked up over here James.

[James]

Art is, after... all... intended to make people emote

[simon]

Then art it is my friend.

[Christopher Myers]

James ,
very funny

[Willie Reagan]

Good one, James!!

[James]

Thank you, thank you, please, hold your applause.

I'll be here all week. Check me out at the Dew Drop Inn on Wednesday.

budabump, dum dum dum, boom

[Travis Bagent]

You a-hole, SHE NOT THE PROBLEM

[CHRISTIAN BINNIE]

Very good James, maybe you found your true calling. You should move to nashville.

[James]

Nashville? How far is that from Mooresburg?

Travis, I know, I know, it is not her. It's everyone else.

[gambit]

OMG !!!

You guys are nuts! I laughed my butt off at the pure idea of the song. James what were you drinking when you wrote that! I am sure it was some moonshine that brought out your true lineage.

[Aaron Lengyel]

Hey James

Your killing me here. Everytime I was laughing at the words in the song it was causing me pain due to each laugh because of these staples stuck in my side from a recent surgery.

Bye the way I have a request if you would consider to try it. Do you think you could compile an arwmerstling melody.

Call it "Fifty ways to use your lever" do you remember that old Paul Simon song.. I bet you could do it.

Until then I wait with anticipation for your participation, ;D

E-mail me at [e-mail] and we can have some fun with it.

Cheers

Aaron

[James]

Allen:

AAron: I will have my agent get in contact with your people. Perhaps we can draw something up. j/k

Seriously, I'll give it a shot. I would have to hear the song again. Though I do like Paul Simon.

Usually, I just refer to him as Al.

[Aaron Lengyel]

Hey James

Thanks for the reply.


The song I was referring to was "Fifty was to leave you lover"

I got the idea from a PHD fellow in the University of Alberta. I made a tape of fifty techniques. He suggested a twist to that song because we talked about armwrestling as leverage and bio machanics etc.

Ok my folks will wait to here from your folks LOL

Cheers

Aaron

[James]

I am going to look up the song today. Usually I just change the lyrics to songs while I'm in the car with my son (he's 4). He gets a kick out them.

Usually they are just minor changes (all rather immature and skatalogical (eg. I'll sing "eating my poop" rather than "eating my soup") Kids love that kind of stuff.

Anyhow, I will research the song and will get started on it when I have a spare moment. Usually I don't put any work into these songs (the allen hester one took 3 minutes). But hey, perhaps I can labor over one faux song like "Weird Al" for my buddy A.L.