Post by josephsirois on Feb 3, 2005 21:47:07 GMT -5
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank"and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
--Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank"and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
--Jack Handy Deep Thoughts
yes, I did.