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Post by Paul Maiden on Mar 25, 2005 12:30:28 GMT -5
OMG V them are some sexeist jokes. ;D
Why do woman have long legs?
well you ve seen the mess snails make.
why do woman have small feet?
so that get closer to the dishes bowl
whats the simlarity between a condom and a coffin?
you cum in 1 and go in the other
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Post by Malin Kleinsmith on Mar 25, 2005 12:43:35 GMT -5
John came into the maternity ward to see his new-borned son. But as he got in, the doctor stops him and looked at him with sad eyes.
The doctor says: - I´m sorry John, but I have some bad news about your son, he is not really like other children...come here with me...
They came into a room where a little boy slept with no feets.
John says: Oh, no, is this my son???
The Doctor: - I´m sorry John, but it isn´t!
They went in to another room where a little boy was withw no feets or legs.
Johns says: Oh...is THIS my son?
The doctor: - I´m sorry John, but this is not your son!
They went into a third room where a little boy was with no hands, no arms and no legs.
John with tears in his eyes: Is this my son???
The doctors just shook his head: - No, John, I´m sorry. It isn´t.
They went in to another room where it, on the bed, only lied an eye.
John almost stoped breathing, he couldn´t say anything.
The doctor said: - THIS John, is your son!!!
John started to cry for awhile, but then he stoped and got his grip togheter and lend over the bed and looked at his son, the eye, lying there in the bed, and started to do ugly faces infront of his son and saying: "Booboddy boobody boooo", to lighten up the sadness in the room.
The doctor then says: I´m sorry to have to say this John.....but your son is blind!!!
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Post by Valerie Beach on Mar 25, 2005 13:09:50 GMT -5
Mighty lmao............ya like those  you got some good ones your self.......haha   ;D Malin thats funny as hell......hehe  ;D |
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Post by Neil Pickup on Mar 25, 2005 14:11:46 GMT -5
Just wanted to keeps things rocking so here are a few Jokes for the Blind........ |
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Post by Neil Pickup on Mar 25, 2005 14:23:02 GMT -5
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Post by Valerie Beach on Mar 25, 2005 15:24:11 GMT -5
Hey Neil why are single women unable to fart  because they don't have an a$$hole until they get married ;D  Hey BTW watch out ima gonna have to give you a nice hard spanking for that one mate |
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Post by Ty Kissner on Mar 25, 2005 22:43:23 GMT -5
Since Val started ther sexist jokes I got no problem sticking up for my fellow Man.
Why'd god invent shopping carts?
To teach women to walk on two legs.
Why dont women need a drivers licsence?
Theres no highway from the kitchen to the laundry room.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None it should be open when she brings it to you!
Whens the only time a women is above a man in the household?
When the kitchens upstairs.
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Post by Malin Kleinsmith on Mar 26, 2005 4:35:13 GMT -5
OK!!! Valerie I´ll back you up here:
-What is the similarity between dolphin and a man?
It says that both are intelligent, but nobody can prove it!
-Why are men, men and rats, rats?
´Cause the rats got to pick first!
-Why can´t a man both be handsome and smart?
´Cause then he would be a woman.
-Why is a mans brain big as a nut?
´Cause it´s swollen!
-Why don´t woman want to marry, these days?
´Cause woman rather have bacon in their fridge, then have a pig in the livingroom.
-Why is a mans intelligence worth more then a womans?
´Cause it´s so rare!
-Why does men rather marry a virgin?
´Cause they cant stand criticism!
-Why does men excist?
Cause the dildo don´t cut the lawn.
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Post by Neil Pickup on Mar 26, 2005 8:04:41 GMT -5
OK, OK, OK Little B*TCH !!! Your back for more !!! SO NOW its on.............. Lets talk sports then (sorry DEN in lil Swedish B*tch)...... Take a woman playin SQUASH.....she can't hit the ball !!! take her playin Badminton, she can't hit the shuttlecock !!! Put her in yer Car................... SHE HITS EVERYFCUK'INTHING SHE SEES !!! God design a woman make her my kind of a Bird, Let her stay in the kitchen n never say a WORD !!! HAVE SOME SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDE !!! 
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Post by Kevin Schneider on Mar 26, 2005 8:21:04 GMT -5
Hey Guys , this is too F**king funny. Thanks for livining up a Saturday morning.
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Post by gambit on Mar 27, 2005 0:45:08 GMT -5
Neil, at first I wanted what was in your water over there, but now I am not too sure.  |
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Post by Valerie Beach on Mar 27, 2005 1:38:54 GMT -5
WOW...This is otta control ...haha OK guys no need to get all bent out of shape, and come back with lame sh*t...hehehe  ;D j/k Malin thanks sweety Those are so @#$%^&* funny...haha ;D Neil the car one was pritty funny too..haha ;D |
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Post by Malin Kleinsmith on Mar 27, 2005 6:50:54 GMT -5
Austin Powers Pick-up lines that I found on the net when I was trying to find jokes to reply on Neils jokes, but these are good too, so guys now you know how you should hit on a woman:
(Lick finger and wipe on her shirt)....- Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
-Nice legs...what time do they open?
- Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
- I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
- Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
- You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
- If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
- You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
- F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
- My name is Austin ... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
- Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
- I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
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Post by Chris Gangi on Mar 27, 2005 7:21:59 GMT -5
hey malin
those are awesome austin is the man....
i wonder if those lines would really work?
what do think ladies?
YEAH BABY YEAH!!!!!
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Post by Jean chicken wing Daigle on Mar 27, 2005 9:05:59 GMT -5
A little boy ask her mother how old she was, she answered "that is not something a lady talks about" He then ask her how old she was,the mom answered "that is not something a women talks about" He then ask her, why did dad get divorced from you, mom answered, "that is not something that we talk about". The next day the little boy went to school and talked to his best friend about those question he had asked his mom, his friend told him to look at her mom's drivers license. The little boy went home and looked at mom drivers license and ran into the kitchen and told mom ,Hey i now know all the answers "you are 39 years old and you weight 149 lbs and you got an "f" in sex". |
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you got some good ones your self.......haha 
;D
;D 
