|
|
Post by Neil Pickup on Mar 24, 2005 15:21:19 GMT -5
BIGADDY BIGADDY BONG MO FLUFFAZ !!! OK, OK, OK !!!   I'm severely muffed proper off now.......OH YES !!!  & why ? ya might ask......... well basically because the ...."NO LEGS STRAWBERRY PICKING" Gag I posted the other day went down like a lead balloon ha ha ha !!!  The Idea was ya seeeeeeee, World Strawberry Picking Championships right, won by woman with NO LEGS !!! soooooooo what was she resting on the field while she rapidly picked away...........  ? Her.....JAMMY CU^T !!! ANYWAY.......... that gag (for ref see STRANGE SPORTS ON US TV post) CLEARLY BOMBED !!! Sooooooo as its Friday, HERE IS ANOTHER CLASSIC JOKE !!! Heeeeeeeeeeeerrrree we Gooooooo !!! A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected: A half-gallon of low fat milk, A carton of eggs, A quart of orange juice, A head of romaine lettuce, A 2 lb. can of coffee, And a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single !!!" The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, BUT she was very intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked closely at her six items on the conveyer belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections, certainly nothing she felt that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Sooo with curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're an Ugly B*TCH !!! " ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D I LOVE THAT FLUFFIN JOKE !!! ;D ;D Anyone out there got a really good / favorite joke that will cheer us all up this fine Friday night !!!  Have a Great one Guys n Gals !!! GET AT EM !!!  Fat Lad Esq. |
|
|
|
Post by Elaine Blik on Mar 24, 2005 16:01:25 GMT -5
Hey Neil... that WAS pretty funny! ;D However, what kind of drugs are you on that it's Friday night for you already!? I believe even in England it's only Thursday evening for you, right?? See you in 3 weeks - oh and thanks for the smiles!
|
|
|
|
Post by jamesretarides on Mar 24, 2005 16:20:18 GMT -5
How about this one? : What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? I can't tell you the punchline b/c, not only is it not PC, it would also get me into a whole big heaping scoop of hell with Kurt and any anonymous moderators floating around. But I can private message it to ya if you would like. |
|
|
|
Post by Steven Lareau on Mar 24, 2005 16:24:20 GMT -5
Neil that is pretty funny.
But it seems quite a bit like off-topic material to me....
|
|
|
|
Post by Valerie Beach on Mar 24, 2005 18:24:27 GMT -5
thanx for the laughs Neil  James send me the pm |
|
|
|
Post by Neil Pickup on Mar 24, 2005 18:56:20 GMT -5
:oOh No !!! Elaine you are right it is Thursday BUT a little wishful thinking is a good thing on occasion right !!!? Definately at the table...........or at least I hope so or I am even more muffed in Vegas ha ha !!! I would love to hear the rest of the MJ Vs. NA joke James thats building up nicely it seems. Send it Lad go on break the rules now mate.......... Hey Valerie "Mighty Fine Ass" Beach how ya doing today ? Truth is I am in so much pain from training my tiddiz off tonight  that I needed a laugh Lady !!! Sorry Stephen, you are absolutely right mate it was off topic (what the hell was the topic anyway !!! ;D ;D) HEY !!! anybody here like ARMWRESTLING AS WELL AS LAUGHIN A LITTLE.......... ? Relax there now Stevie Boy..........t'would appear we are heading back on topic again mate ha ha ha Another Top Tip of the day Steve however would be if ya wanna keep it super specific mate, stick to reading the posts that say things like.............. Side Pressure or Anyone wanna predict whether or not Cobra will win the 176's in Vegas !!! IF ya see a post that says something like................ Laugh n The Board Laughs with ya, then ya gonna more than likely see something possibly a little more lighthearted n maybe slighty Off to the left or right of... Topic !!! BUT DON'T FRET YASELF OVER IT TOO MUCH CAUSE........ I still quite like Armwrestling too.......... ere mi now mate !!! Now you Stay Strong, with a Swingy Dong !!! Bigaddy, Bigaddy, BIGADDY BONG !!! Fat Lad Esq. Big Armwrestling Fan . Who Enjoys Armwrestling Chocolate n Hard Sex ;D ;D |
|
|
|
Post by John Stanton on Mar 24, 2005 20:33:11 GMT -5
A guy gets into an elevator with a blonde girl standing inside.
the blonde looks at the guy and says" T.G.I.F"
the guy says" S.H.I.T"
the blonde says" no T.G.I.F thank god it's friday"
The guy says "S.H.I.T sorry honey it's thursday"
I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your waitresses
|
|
|
|
Post by Valerie Beach on Mar 24, 2005 21:22:02 GMT -5
Hey there Mr. mighty fine fat lad pickup, Glad to hear training went well tonight ;D I went and got a work out at the gym so feelin' a little pain myself ;D and I spent a lot of good time with the boy ;D Needed a laugh too thank you  and thank you to John ;D BTW whats the topic.........hehe Valerie "Mighty Fine Ass" Beach ...........hehe Who Enjoys Armwrestling Chocolate n Hard Sex ;D hell ya!!!!!!!!...........haha |
|
|
|
Post by ddevoto on Mar 24, 2005 23:42:06 GMT -5
Hey Brother Pickup.............
I thought we Yanks spoke English but you totally lose me. Please have someone interpret your message in the Kings English. Or Queens or whatever.
The secondary punch line of your joke actually came from one of my heroes Winston Churchill. When the lady in the supermarket line said back to the drunk "I may be an ugly B*tch but you are a drunk" the drunk replied "Yea but I'll be sober in the morning and you will still be an ugly B*tch."
|
|
|
|
Post by Ty Kissner on Mar 25, 2005 0:02:10 GMT -5
Mr. Retarides pm me sauce i thinkits gotta be one ell of a joke.
I got one though.
Robert Frost and his poet buddy die in a car crash but when theget to the gates od heavan saint peter tells them he only has room for one of them in heavan so to be fair he tells them the poet who comes up with the best poem rhyming with timbucktoo gets in.
Robert frost replies first. Over the valley and through the sands i tavelled far and across these lands i kept on searching didn't know what to do so i searched on further to timbucktoo.
Saint peter says thats pretty good that will be hard to beat.
Second poet goes not really and replies. Tim and I a fishing we went. spotted two sleepers in tent. They came over to our canoe so i bucked on and Timbuckedtoo.
thats all folks
|
|
|
|
Post by Steven Lareau on Mar 25, 2005 0:22:27 GMT -5
Neil, you are a funny fellow. |
|
|
|
Post by Bad Draw Rhodes on Mar 25, 2005 0:50:17 GMT -5
Hey Brother Pickup............. I thought we Yanks spoke English but you totally lose me. Please have someone interpret your message in the Kings English. Or Queens or whatever. The secondary punch line of your joke actually came from one of my heroes Winston Churchill. When the lady in the supermarket line said back to the drunk "I may be an ugly B*tch but you are a drunk" the drunk replied "Yea but I'll be sober in the morning and you will still be an ugly B*tch." Dave many times have I quoted Senor Churchills action. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Paul Maiden on Mar 25, 2005 5:23:30 GMT -5
Hey heres 1 or 2 MJ jokes for you.
I hear Micheal J has got his date for the trial...
His name is Jamie.lol.
Why were Micheal J pants to tight?
because they wernt hes.lol
O i was drunk last nite i went out to a night club and pulled a rite fat bitch she must have weighed 350lbs when she was sat on my face pedaling my ears
thing is she wernt ugly she had a good head on her shoulders...
Pitty she had no neck.lol ha ha ha
|
|
|
|
Post by Andy 'wiSë™' Barker on Mar 25, 2005 7:20:12 GMT -5
Hey Brother Pickup............. I thought we Yanks spoke English but you totally lose me. Please have someone interpret your message in the Kings English. Or Queens or whatever. I'm with you there Dave - I'm from the same goddam town, and he loses me LOL Nez - Keep it in the circus... FREAK! |
|
|
|
Post by Valerie Beach on Mar 25, 2005 9:18:47 GMT -5
1. Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain >on the ground? >A. Shoot him again. > > >2. Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? >A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck & the >noose. > >3. Q. Why do little boys whine? >A. Because they're practicing to be men. > >4.How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? >A. One - he just holds it up there & waits for the world to revolve around >him. >OR. Three - one to screw in the bulb, two to listen to him brag about the >screwing part. > >5. Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? >A. Trustworthy. > >6. Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & >calling your name? >A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. > >7. Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg? >A.Because not one will stop and ask directions. > >8. Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? >A. To stop the snoring before it starts . > >9. Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? >A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. > >10. Q: What is the difference between men and women... >A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. >A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. > >11. Q: How does a man keep his youth? >A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. > >12. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? >A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" ;D |
|
? 
