LAUGH n THE BOARD LAUGHS WITH YA...OR NOT !!!???

[Ryan Thames]

HA HA FUNNY FUNNY

[Dawn Higson]

hey ppl. ive not left any jokes for a while so i thght i would leave one


A brunette, a red head, and a blonde were having a very
interesting conversation and it got around to their daughters.

The brunette said, "I went in my daughter's room the other day
and found a pack of ciggarettes, I didn't even know she smoked!"

The red head said, "I went in my daughter's room and found a
half-empty bottle of vodka! I didn't even know she drank!"

Then the blonde burst out and said, "I went in my daughter's
room and found a pack of condoms, half-empty, I didn't even know
she had a penis!"

i love that joke lol

hope you all liked it.

[Dawn Higson]

oooooopppppppssssssssss
i spelt cigarettes wrong! i put two g's instead of one.

oh well u all knw wht i mean.

One day a little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He
looks at his father and says, "Daddy what is that?" The father
says, "Oh son that is....daddy's lawn mower!"

Then the boy says, "Daddy what's that between mommy's legs?" The
father hesitates for a moment then says, "Well son, that's
mommy's lawn!"

The little boy looks at his father again and asks, "What were
you doing?" Then the father says, "Well I was mowing mommy's
lawn!" The boy looks confused and says, "Well her lawn must grow
fast cause the mailman just mowed it yesterday!"

[Ty Kissner]

Heres a daily picker upper

Three Lawyers are sittin around talkin about their sons and the first lawyer goes"my son Brady is doin real well he's an engineer and just bought his buddy a Mercedes.

Second lawyer says thats good, my son Tim is a contracter and just built his buddy a brand new home for free he's doin so well.

Third lawyer says wow, My son Greg is a business consultant and just gave his buddy a loaded stock portfolio he's doin so well.

Just then a four th laywer walks by and the ask him "Hey Tom Hows your boy doin?"

Tom says well my son Aaron aint doin so hot He's a go-go dancer and sleeping with his three best friends, however he just recently got a new mercedes and loaded stock portfolio given to him and had someone build him a house for free,Go figure.

[Valerie Beach]

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!"

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

[Chris Gangi]

HEY VAL...

THAT'S THE BEST JOKE IV'E HEARD YET.....LMFAO... ;D

[Ty Kissner]

Valerie Forgot the other punch line to that joke though Chris,
The end of the joke goes

"So I beat him to death", know what the moral of the story is Never trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die, at least thats how i heard it.

[Valerie Beach]

LMFAO.............HAHAHA(very true ) ;D
good one huh Chris....haha ;D

[Andrew Fournier]

...and the drunk in the grocery store screamed at the old woman as he walked by, "Get out of the way you Ugly B*tch". She screamed back, "At Least Im not a Drunk!". The drunk turns around and states, "In the morning I'll be Sober and you'll still be an Ugly B*tch!"

[Ty Kissner]

A couple of rednecks pull up to a gas station and see a sign that says "Win free Sex with purchase of a fill up".

So the driver asks the gas attendant how do I win the free sex?

Gas attendant replies Well guess a # between 1 and 10 and if your correct you get thre free sex.

Driver says I pick 8.

Attendant replies you were close the # was 7.

The driver gets back into the truck and says to his buddie you know Sampson I think that game is rigged.

Sampson says nah the game aint rigged Blly Ray My wife won twice last week.

Heres your card!

[BigDaddyJoe™]

ummm.... pop goes the weasel cause the weasel goes pop?

[Jeremy Plaster]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

[Jeremy Plaster]

Sexual Myths

A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat, and a wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, “Business trip or vacation?”

The woman turns, smiles and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.”

The man swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, “What’s your business role at this convention?”

“Lecturer,” she says. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

“Really,” he says. “What myths are those?”

“Well,” she explains, “one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it’s men of Jewish decent.”

Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. “I'm sorry,” she says, “I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!”

“Tonto” the man says as he extends his hand. “Tonto Goldstein.”

[Valerie Beach]

;D Advice for women ;D


1. Don't imagine you can change a man unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon -- they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander -- it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

13. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

14. Sadly, all men are created equal.

[Scott Latella]

Val # 6. You think Joey and I are alike